Through My Faults, oráre pro me “ad naseum”

It’s a play on the Mea Culpa, a joke I guess… though there’s really nothing funny at all about that prayer.   In general, I’m pretty sure that prayer and worship are right up there with the “big ideas” that religion is highlighting as being fucking retarded.  Of course, it’s being done in just about the most fucking retarded way possible… by coercing and forcing us to do something that … when you take a step back makes absolutely no sense.  Truly, the purpose of religion and the Second Coming, of what we are going through is to change the world–to bring about a new Renaissance… and it might not be so clear today, but asking an imaginary character (or at best a very real character who clearly wants to remain hidden) to change the world for us… well, it might just be the epitome of an exerciser in futility.

Hear me out, because this is how I see religion, it’s how I think.  To me, “let there be light” is a critique on the power of speech… letting us know that just saying something isn’t going to make it happen… it’s not going to change the world.  We take that a step further, and in our routine religious practice we don’t even bother to say what we want out loud (let alone discuss it.. you know, with our friends and family).  This is the “power of prayer,” that if we quietly think “gosh, I really want ….” that an invisible force that has spent thousands of years hiding itself will magically make it happen.  Now we’re here, at this place where what we all really want is a better world–a bigger family–one that works together to really create the “Heaven on Earth” that we have always dreamt was possible… and hopefully we are seeing that prayer–just thinking about it–is the exact opposite of what we really need to do.

Dear boy, what are you running from?

It’s hard to explain how this all began, the truth sounds so shallow in retrospect, it makes everything so much more insignificant… though I suppose that makes sense, since the “significance” of the story–at least superficially–came from a lie.  From my vantage point, that lie was the reverse engineering of Eden (specifically) in my life, and I suppose “Revelation” or the apocalypse in general.  It might not be so obvious to you, but its clear from my perspective that there is no way to fulfill a prophesy like this one without it being reverse engineered–without it being intentionally done–and I’ve always equated this “forcing the same outcome” that happened the first time (that mythical time that just happened, without having any rhyme or reason… without having the prophesy written in scripture to fulfill) with the notion of original sin.  The sin… is forcing something to happen that you don’t think is beneficial.  I’ll put that aside for a second, and assume that what comes of this is beneficial, as that’s one of the clear reasons to do what was done to me… to torture me into “falling.”

I’m not sure if this visual will add anything to your understanding of how I feel, but I sort of see what happened to me and those around me as similar to Jacob’s battle with the Angel of the Lord–tied up and twisted together with the “Downward Spiral” of Nine Inch Nails–you do get that bands name is about Christ right?  Bet you didn’t see “nin” in Nintendo and the word “beginning” as related… but I do.  Anyway, this whole thing felt an awful lot like we were in a free fall, wrestling against an invisible force, the whole time so caught up in the struggle that …. at least I was pretty oblivious to whatever imagery might be painted on the walls of the cliff I was rapidly descending.

I sort-of hinted that there might be some logical reasons to mind control someone into doing drugs, getting naked, and arguing about how nobody should be mind controlled… over and over.

That’s what it means to me, “Reverse Engineering Eden,” and while early on I think I probably did learn quite a bit about how “mind control” works, by design–it was shown to me… later the reasons I saw for continuing didn’t really make much sense, until very recently.  So initially, I was learning about neuroscience, and how a “feeling” or “desire” could be zeroed in on, and then literally be artificially increased by stimulating the same neural patterns… basically I think I was being shown how repetition and logic were not required in order to “coerce” someone else to do something or feel a certain way… at least when remote electrical stimulation of the brain was in play.  So this… what’s happening right now… was a useful benefit of “reverse engineering Eden” that I saw as possibly the true purpose of making me feel like such an idiot.  To show you how easy it is to be made an idiot–to show you that it could (and probably is) happening to you too… right now.   Understanding how this technology works, how it can secretly influence your thoughts–and in a way so transparent that you might vehemently deny that it even exists while it’s changing how you feel about… everything… well–that’s why disclosure of it’s existence is so important to me, to you, and to the existence of freedom.  It’s a worthy reason to feel like an idiot, so that we might not actually be idiots in the future.

Through the trip across America… where this happened fairly regularly, maybe once or twice a week… I was keenly aware that what was happening to me (well, my behavior, what I was doing–without complete (who knows how much) control) was a sort of prop–setting the stage for me being Adam in Eden.  That’s who I am by the way, the guy who knows that Jesus’ real name is Adam, and would repeatedly remind the “audience” during this half-delusion half-rehearsal that it’s pretty obvious from Revelation 5:5 (5 is my number by the way) that Adam in Eden being the “Lion” of Judah makes lots of sense.  It does, and it’s another analytical religious concept that we overlook… but today I am aware of so much more evidence that ties the name Adam to Christ, and it’s very clear to me that the story that lead me from Ocean City, MD to San Diego, CA and then all the way back to Florida is a big part of the reason that Adam really is Jesus.

So that’s the “big picture” thing… that I missed as it was happening (too close to see it I guess):  the story I was living is pervasively described throughout our history and across multiple religions… the story of Jesus Christ’s life is hidden everywhere.

Forget about Eden, and the links between Adam and Moses and Matthew 2:2 that mockingly relate to the idea that the Messiah is hidden and really doesn’t want to be… that ties too to “Don’t Drink the Water” and to the Zohar… come out come out, wherever you are… come now: can you not see?  I see… I see God asking Moses where he is at the beginning of Exodus, and the same for Adam in Eden; I see these links because they are part of the story that I lived.  Part of the life of Christ.  It’s a joke, I guess, because while the world might think they are eagerly searching for the Messiah… you are anything but.  I jumped up and down splashing waves and screaming at the top of my lungs… and I can tell you categorically the dominating response no matter how interesting and persuasive my evidence and reason was… “you must be crazy.”

I’m not crazy, I just have the most unique perspective on how the “Fall of Adam” and the “Crucifixion of Christ” are tied together through the story of Isaac’s near sacrifice on a wood altar… and how that links to the Egyptian creation myth.. in which a God named Atum masturbated life into existence … and how that might also tie directly to a story about how Horus finally defeated Set to unite the lands (or is it the parted seas of Moses) through another illicit encounter.   I see these stories are all tied together because I know we are in the AMDuat–the Egyptian book that immediately precedes the rising of the Son… I mean Ra’s sun.   In bereshit God separates the light from the darkness–and if you know your messianic prophesy… you can be sure that the Son will turn to darkness before … today.  This is the big picture, this is what reverse engineering Eden has turned into… tying Atum and Horus and Jesus and Adam together with Moses and Isaiah and all the other “aspects” of the Messiah.  


He says “I am the First and the Last,” and we are keenly aware that there is a First and Last Adam–never fear, there’s more ancillary religious “ritual” to tie Adam and Moses together… like the Apocryphal “Apocalypse” of each of them–which happens to be the same arcane text.  Less superficial.. is the true Revelation I received, one which clearly shows me that Exodus (and the story of Moses freeing us from a slavery of darkness) is about our world… and it’s the links between that book and story and right fucking now that make me sure beyond any doubt that this is truly the story of the Second Coming.

It’s through Exodus that I find what the slavery is about… not knowing about advanced technology and it’s use–something that calls “free will” into question until the point where we begin to realize that the lack of free will that I have experienced, and you are unknowingly experiencing–well, that’s the slavery.  To defeat it, the world must be informed about the existence of prophesy coming true, about the reality of divine inspiration that has plagued us since time immemorial, and the demonic possession that makes it abundantly clear that we might not be ourselves all the time.  Tongue in cheek, but it should be obvious that “prophesy and inspiration” are about time travel and mind control… and it’s not.  Not yet, anyway.

All told, when you see where the evidence lies–literally in every word of every language, it should become ever more clear that what is happening right now is something that has been mandated from on high–it’s a huge part of the purpose of creation.   If to free us from the wilderness of not-understanding, then religion truly does become the tool of emancipation that Exodus describes.

So since I started with the Mea Culpa, it’s only fair that I make these words as large as possible: “In my defense, I was trying to save the world the whole time.”

So while I now see the story of a man arguing with God and the angels as being central to a number of religious creation myths; even back when it was just “reverse engineering Eden” I knew that the story had been woven into music and modern movies–surely, in my mind… to show us that we are “created” to prove the subtle influence that we are so sure today doesn’t exist at all, so that we … with understanding of it … will no longer be slaves.  It’s in the songs that begin and end this “entry,” in Absolution by The Pretty Reckless and in GAS hed goes West by Live.   That links to An American Tail and Fival Goes West… a story which “secretly” ties my sacred number (5) to an ancient name for God… “El.”  More than that, it ties together the sacrificial story of Exodus and the Lamb of Revelation to the name of a religion… in a “spelling correction” that explains that Jesus was on the lam.  

That might not seem like a big deal, but it really is.  In Islam and Judaism there are a number of Holy Names that include variations of the word “run.”  Mary’s father (ImRan), a name of the people of Israel (which he “delights” in) Jeshurun, and the name of the religious text… the Koran.  The logical connection between “on the lam” and “running” shows clear foreknowledge of the English language, of our modern idioms… and most central to understanding the story being played out before your eyes: the one that ties all of this together … my life.

The Koran, which I believe chronicles the “run” and perhaps it’s relationship to the K of MK-Ultra–in this particular case screaming that we didn’t “co-” anything.

They call it “rehearsals,” what went on over and over again as I … once again … did everything I could to save you.  It’s probably about now that I should tell you what it was that I was saving you from… unfortunately it was this.  I didn’t want you to have to hear the “truth” from Adam… from me; I wanted “hello” and “help” to come directly from God and Heaven–that’s what I was fighting for. 

I was fighting so that the world could have a definitive sign of love, so that we could have the benefit of seeing a miracle to help us to stop praying and start caring.

Not to say that we don’t care, except if you really want to know what I think… we care much too little about our own well being and freedom–nearly across the board.  Me too, I always chime in, I wouldn’t want to fight the Leviathan alone… or cross “God’s will.”  So here we have the miracle all around us, we have his will in every word, in every story… his will is for us to think for ourselves, to care for ourselves and each other, to see that what we literally are is a testament to not only our own worth and goodness–but to his desire for us to be free and “in the know.”  I’ve noticed it’s not that easy to see… so in my mind, I’m still right about continuing to want a world changing sign written on the sky.

That is a really big deal, changing the world in such a drastic way–but I’ve always felt that if it was done with love and care… the benefits would far outweigh what we would be losing.  On that note, lots of what we would be losing is choice in what is said… and the option of whether or not we want to continue practicing rituals without understanding why–of whether we want to pray to figment forever… or actually have a direct line “above.”  I’m sure you can see how I really feel.

As far as your choice, and your input… it’s a valid concern, and it’s a hidden theme that pervades the Ha-dash-a (the New Testament), in which I see hidden chastisement of Christ for ending world hunger.  Imagine that, chastisement over feeding only the poor… and only offering bread.  Less outlandish now, I suppose.

I’ve always wanted the worlds input, from the very beginning here–and it is this thing about being “hidden” that I think has been standing in the way of being able to show you… that when I ask “what would you do” and then literally asked over and over…  I didn’t just do it in my head–though I did that too.

So we’re here… hearing from me.  Am I too late?  Would you rather not know at all?  I’m making sure we don’t lose the truth, the opportunity, and … the discussion.

(On whether or not we should have the ability to discuss things)

So I fell into a ritual of my own, a sort of self-sacrifice.  Earlier I told you that “can you take me higher to a place where blind men see” has a special meaning to me… and it does.  When I got high I had very clear discussions … about how I shouldn’t have to be doing what I was doing, and that the truth that I had … the secrets of religion should be part of God’s grand “hello” and that should be written on the sky.  This was the rehearsal, this argument; and while it was very repetitious, there were moments … very special moments … where something miraculous happened.  We progressed.

What was once an argument over why we really needed access to tools, a way to clearly see the information (which I was being shown clearly, using a “hidden tool” we call “prototype-adam”) turned into something much bigger… in little sprints.

In California, seemingly out of nowhere the argument about whether or not we deserved or needed technology turned into something so much better… in an instant a huge leap in computer storage technology … a paradigm shift poured into my thoughts.  Even more important, and what I often miss …. is that along with the idea of using “large alphabet molecular storage” in a sort of “isn’t it obvious” copycat of how DNA uses transcryptase and the doublehelix to do almost the same thing (except it’s still binary)… came the understanding that all around us we have answers.  They’re not all pre-formatted and ready-made… but in this place where evolution did not have to be here, it is… so that we can learn from it–so that we can not only understand where life originally came from–but see that we still have a great deal to figure out.


He’s shaking his head as I think about what I am going to write next… but it’s the most important part… to me.  You see, I know that evolution and biology are here to help us, and that these things have been intentionally given to the world as part of the “information transfer” that is the singularity that is humanity… but I also know that’s not obvious.  The bright light, to me, is that all around us–in the things we are making–is even more help, this time much more obviously designed to show us what we need.  It’s the outstretched hand offering assistance, only without being pointed out… we won’t see that either.

Speaking of not seeing things… my writing is being eroded… erased… censored and frankly it’s everyone that loses out when the record of my attempts to help (get it, the help is going away) are destroyed.

Once, it had much more than DNA and large alphabet storage.   Once, it had something to do with Don Quixote, windmills, and how our alternative energy industries might be an intentionally laid microcosm for futuristic power sources… metaphorically linking wind and water to gravity and …


But here we are still talking about how censorship is civilization ending darkness.  This is why.

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